On my very last day of vacation and, really, just bored out of my skull, I left “Pawn Stars” on my television.
For those of you not familiar with the premise, a family – a father, his son, and his son’s son – own a pawn shop in Las Vegas. Like Antiques Roadshow, they get treasures, and offer money for what they get.
On Sunday’s daylong marathon, one episode showed a man bringing in a collection of 93 miniature golf balls. Or, to put that in less confusing terms, a man had 93 different balls, all used for miniature golf.
Apparently, the Europeans consider this an actual sport, and different balls are used in different situations, all designed to get you a hole-in-one on one particular hole.
After everyone on the show pretty much lowballed – pun intended – the ball collection, the guy left with his collection, unwilling to take the $100 that was offered.
So, here’s the question: if golf is a sport, is miniature golf a sport? And if you consider miniature golf a sport, what’s next? Chess? Pool? Darts?
Every so often, it’s worth asking what should be considered a sport. I’ve had the argument with other sports reporters and editors – mostly older men – in the past about gymnastics and figure skating. Most of the arguments I’ve heard against those two athletic endeavors is that they are judged.
Perhaps, but when McKayla Maroney posted one of the most memorable moments from the London Olympics last year by sticking the hardest vault a woman has ever done, I call it a sport. That it was perfect and the judges didn’t call it as much is beyond the point. It was as pure a feat of athleticism as a Grand Slam or a slam dunk.
Of course, there is also the question of at what level sport is a sport – versus a show. In watching the NBA, I lose all interest in watching the game of basketball. To me, all I see are a bunch of individuals who care more about showboating than they do about the team or playing the game, and they are supported by an organization that doesn’t care about the entirety of the game.
Are professional sports actually sports? I’ll steer – for the moment – away from the accusations of “script committee” that have been thrown at the National Football League over the years, and simply ask if any professional sport truly plays the game as it is supposed to be played.
Just how many professionals aren’t doing something to enhance their performance that they shouldn’t be? Case in point: Ryan Braun. While he got a positive test thrown out on a chain-of-custody technicality, there has to be a damned good reason Major League Baseball suspended him for the rest of the season. And most people thought he was one of the good guys for the longest time.
If Braun is dirty, how many more can they be? Is Braun just the tip of an “it isn’t cheating if you don’t get caught” MLB iceberg? I want to believe better – I truly do. But the more cheaters that are caught, the more I wonder about everyone else.
So, here’s the big question: What is sport? Not what is a sport, but what should sport be? Looking up the word in the Merriam-Webster online dictionary doesn’t help, calling it a “source of diversion.” Personally, I define sport as competition between an individual or a team, with as little outside interference as possible.
But that’s how I see it. Others may see it that simply – or with more complications, or less. Sport can be a battle, or fight, or simply a test of one’s skills. That’s the joy of sport. It can mean something different to every person you ask.
Just don’t try to convince me miniature golf is a sport. A diversion, perhaps, but not a sport.
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